I'm becoming one of those people!
You know those people who make sweeping generalizations about the opposite sex?
Their sentences usually start with 'All men..' or 'All women..'.
I have finally entered the exclusive club of jaded cynical women.
And I finally understand how they got to the state they're in. It really does pay to walk a mile in someone else's shoes!
Of all the men - some I've used for sex, some I've adored at arms length, all were debriefed in varying intensity on my new No Relationship policy - and there have been many, like going through a jar of jelly beans.. so delicious and fun at first, to dig deep into the pile and feel their cool smoothness then bite into the crusty gelatin sweetness, ascertaining which colored flavor is best!
But then you get tired of the jelly beans. Their flavors start merging into one general cloying sweetness. At a grand scale they all taste the same.
But of course the couple flavors you really like disappear first. They're most likely scarce to begin with.
Soon you're left with just the crappy green and yellow ones. The ones no one else wants. The lackluster ones. The ones with no personality. The tiny and misshapen ones.
And then just like that, you're over jelly beans. Even if a shiny red one sashayed into the jar you wouldn't have the stamina to eat him.
Because you already know. All the red ones are the same.
And if I may continue for just a moment longer with my analogy, I believe it may be the red ones that spoil it for the rest.
It's those that I want most. Those that I miss most. Those that I want more time with.
And when they are gone, they leave a grey pallor over everything.
Even as i write this, I think of the men that are my red jelly beans. Less frequent contact over the weeks lead to them moving on.
And fair enough. Even if I didn't say anything, they knew, my heart wasn't in it.
I was never going to be their girl.
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