and it all comes tumbling down..
winter is not my season.. in fact, sun-less days are not my thing at all! I could be living on the equator, strutting around in nothing more than a bikini and sarong but if the sun slips behind the clouds, my spirit droops!
I don't want it to! believe me, life would be much easier if I weren't so tuned into my surroundings!
so this winter I am 40 years old, I am single and I am virtually unemployed.. how do you think I feel about that!?
I have to admit I don't really care about being 40 only because I don't yet look anywhere near 40.. i'm not too fussed about being single because I've always held the belief that i'd rather be alone than with someone who wasn't right for me.. and the last someone who I thought was so right for me stormed off with nary a 'thank you' and I haven't seen or heard from him again.. so it turns out he wasn't right for me afterall..
but the employment aspect is starting to get me a little worried! the little money I earn from photo shoots is barely enough to pay my bills, buy food and the occasional pair of cute boots or dress.. no longer do I live the days of extravagant spending, overseas holidays and wasteful living! and it worries me! what if I want an overseas holiday? my finances are so low that I no longer have a cushion to fall back on!
but then, no longer am I stressed to my back teeth with the pressures of work! I don't carry the stomach aches I used to have from being so uptight and anxious at work.. I don't have food intolerances or body pains that I used to get from sitting at my computer for hours, tapping out very important documents with ridiculous deadlines..
so I guess i'm feeling a bit like i'm at the crossroads right now.. do I go back to my high pressure career? do I take a more mediocre/less paying job? do I persevere with my photographic business and attempt to build it and sell it until I make millions?
i'm living the dream life but without an income I can barely enjoy it, even in a city as beautiful and diverse as Melbourne!
Saturday 17 August 2013
Saturday 1 June 2013
stormy saturday ramble
Some wiley weekend weather in Melbourne.
A gorgeous thunderstorm hit the CBD around 9.30pm last night, following freezing cold torrential rain. From the snugness of my couch, I could hear the thunder claps - boy were they loud! The girls out for a night in the CBD let scream following some of the unearthly cracks, testament to how unnervingly loud the storm was.
Once the storm passed, the drenching rain. I felt as though I were asleep in warm heavenly clouds listening to the soothing trickle of rain outside my bedroom window. And not a drunken expletive to be heard!
Tonight I find myself once again on the couch, tonight nursing a sore throat with manuka honey and hot lemon while watching That 70s Show! The city is quiet, too cold and wet and well, if I can just be frank, plain old miserable to be out! If I were a younger gal, I'd probably still be getting dressed to the nines (read: skimpiest wear possible) to shelter in a cool club til the early hours. What am I saying? I did that just a few weeks ago.. ?
As I work through my DVDs and google 'photoshop tips and tricks', I reflect on my life to date. This blog in some ways, works as a way to mark time for me. Recall I started this blog as a way of dealing with a very sad break up late last year. I still feel occasionally sad about the loss, in fact, disproportionately sad about it, given the few months we had together.
But here I am, surviving and shit. Better than surviving! I quit my shitty job that I hated and started my own business doing something I love! Despite the erratic income and working hours, I walk the street smiling like I have not done in such a long time! Feeling happy! Really happy! I think this is what comes with not just surviving, but thriving!
And no, it's not about money or material things. It really is about feeding the soul with those things we love - working with good people and being with close friends; sleeping with my soft purring kitty and baking treats; sharing drinks and nibbles with neighbours at odd hours and always getting excellent feedback on my photographic work.
Everyday I 100% make my own decisions for my own life. On the streets and on trams and trains, I no longer feel creepy about approaching interesting people to ask if I may photograph them in my studio. I accept (and sometimes I refuse) bookings for shoots. I catch up for coffee with who I want, whenever I want. It is wonderful to finally be establishing my own place in the world without being told who to do it with and how and when.. I strongly recommend everyone do it!
I spoke to my friend today and she told me she is lonely for a man to settle with. I am finally in a space in my life where I can smile understandingly but not feel that way myself.
This sea eagle is not ready to settle! There are still so many horizons to explore!
A gorgeous thunderstorm hit the CBD around 9.30pm last night, following freezing cold torrential rain. From the snugness of my couch, I could hear the thunder claps - boy were they loud! The girls out for a night in the CBD let scream following some of the unearthly cracks, testament to how unnervingly loud the storm was.
Once the storm passed, the drenching rain. I felt as though I were asleep in warm heavenly clouds listening to the soothing trickle of rain outside my bedroom window. And not a drunken expletive to be heard!
Tonight I find myself once again on the couch, tonight nursing a sore throat with manuka honey and hot lemon while watching That 70s Show! The city is quiet, too cold and wet and well, if I can just be frank, plain old miserable to be out! If I were a younger gal, I'd probably still be getting dressed to the nines (read: skimpiest wear possible) to shelter in a cool club til the early hours. What am I saying? I did that just a few weeks ago.. ?
As I work through my DVDs and google 'photoshop tips and tricks', I reflect on my life to date. This blog in some ways, works as a way to mark time for me. Recall I started this blog as a way of dealing with a very sad break up late last year. I still feel occasionally sad about the loss, in fact, disproportionately sad about it, given the few months we had together.
But here I am, surviving and shit. Better than surviving! I quit my shitty job that I hated and started my own business doing something I love! Despite the erratic income and working hours, I walk the street smiling like I have not done in such a long time! Feeling happy! Really happy! I think this is what comes with not just surviving, but thriving!
And no, it's not about money or material things. It really is about feeding the soul with those things we love - working with good people and being with close friends; sleeping with my soft purring kitty and baking treats; sharing drinks and nibbles with neighbours at odd hours and always getting excellent feedback on my photographic work.
Everyday I 100% make my own decisions for my own life. On the streets and on trams and trains, I no longer feel creepy about approaching interesting people to ask if I may photograph them in my studio. I accept (and sometimes I refuse) bookings for shoots. I catch up for coffee with who I want, whenever I want. It is wonderful to finally be establishing my own place in the world without being told who to do it with and how and when.. I strongly recommend everyone do it!
I spoke to my friend today and she told me she is lonely for a man to settle with. I am finally in a space in my life where I can smile understandingly but not feel that way myself.
This sea eagle is not ready to settle! There are still so many horizons to explore!
Monday 20 May 2013
CASTING CALL
If you live in Melbourne and would like to be a part of my next photographic exhibition, please drop me a line!
In line with my company motto: daring photography for fearless folk, I am looking for individuals outside the mainstream who are not afraid of what people think of them or how they'll be perceived.
Right now, I require two gay men aged under 25 for close clean shots. In exchange for time, you'll get a bunch of images on USB to own, print, publish as you want.
Let me know! No model experience necessary.
In line with my company motto: daring photography for fearless folk, I am looking for individuals outside the mainstream who are not afraid of what people think of them or how they'll be perceived.
Right now, I require two gay men aged under 25 for close clean shots. In exchange for time, you'll get a bunch of images on USB to own, print, publish as you want.
Let me know! No model experience necessary.
Tuesday 30 April 2013
Aw Myki you're so fine!
Okay okay let me confess a couple misnomers.
In the first place, Myki - Melbourne's new-tangled state-of-the-art, you-beaut, straight-to-the-pool-room ticketing system for public transport.. well, it's not all that fine.
As you get on or into your chosen mode of public transportation, despite what the signs say, you HOLD not touch, your card, to the bright yellow box and wait for the 'bip!' to let you know you've paid. If you're quick, you'll see your remaining balance on the teeny screen.
Whatever you do, don't hold it there again because the machine is quite liable to just charge you again. I know I know, Public Transport Victoria (PTV) say this doesn't happen, but after I managed to burn through over $20 from two zone 1 travels, well, you can imagine how dubious I am about the electronic charging system.
Also, in relation to the fine-ness or thereabouts of the Myki.. according to my post title, based on the original track sung by Toni Basil, she sings about a boy called Micky. Like Mikki. Like Mickie. Not Mikey - like Mike with a drawn out eeeee, which is what the tickets are called.
Not sure why. And to be truthful, at the moment I'm not all that interested in finding out! But if any of you, dear readers, would like to find out and give me the summary dot point, that would be totally ace!
In fact, while you're at it, perhaps you could let me know how Myki charges fares of its unsuspecting customers. I find myself burning through wads of cash to keep up with keeping the Princess Myki. It has made me consider expending the considerable wealth I've put into Myki, on a luxury European car to carry the Princess around in because I think it would cost me less!
It seems that every time I touch on, I am charged for my last fare. It also seems that, as the ads say there's no need to touch off, that when I do touch on, my Myki assumes that I've been travelling since the last time it touched.
See all the happy PTV customers!? You can see how maintaining the Princess Myki is costly!
It's strange, pampering and pandering to Princess Myki. I always hoped I'd be the one darling Princess in any given relationship. Instead, it seems I'm the schmuck!!
In the first place, Myki - Melbourne's new-tangled state-of-the-art, you-beaut, straight-to-the-pool-room ticketing system for public transport.. well, it's not all that fine.
As you get on or into your chosen mode of public transportation, despite what the signs say, you HOLD not touch, your card, to the bright yellow box and wait for the 'bip!' to let you know you've paid. If you're quick, you'll see your remaining balance on the teeny screen.
Whatever you do, don't hold it there again because the machine is quite liable to just charge you again. I know I know, Public Transport Victoria (PTV) say this doesn't happen, but after I managed to burn through over $20 from two zone 1 travels, well, you can imagine how dubious I am about the electronic charging system.
Not sure why. And to be truthful, at the moment I'm not all that interested in finding out! But if any of you, dear readers, would like to find out and give me the summary dot point, that would be totally ace!
In fact, while you're at it, perhaps you could let me know how Myki charges fares of its unsuspecting customers. I find myself burning through wads of cash to keep up with keeping the Princess Myki. It has made me consider expending the considerable wealth I've put into Myki, on a luxury European car to carry the Princess around in because I think it would cost me less!
It seems that every time I touch on, I am charged for my last fare. It also seems that, as the ads say there's no need to touch off, that when I do touch on, my Myki assumes that I've been travelling since the last time it touched.
See all the happy PTV customers!? You can see how maintaining the Princess Myki is costly!
It's strange, pampering and pandering to Princess Myki. I always hoped I'd be the one darling Princess in any given relationship. Instead, it seems I'm the schmuck!!
Wednesday 17 April 2013
Love It Here!
Melbourne in the autumn is the best time of year!
In addition, the worlds funniest people descend on the CBD for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival!
If you haven't already been, there are SO many acts, there's something for everyone! It's worth remembering the big name acts come with a bigger ticket price. But why not check out the Aussie acts, just as funny but they make for a cheap nite out! And you can see more acts for your money!
The Athaneum offer $5 comedy nites with 4-5 decently hilarious comedians strutting their stuff on stage. Best part is, you can have dinner and/or a few drinks while watching the acts because the stage is in a big ol' bar with Hogwarts style tables running in rows across the room.
Don't forget the little venues out of the CBD in those funky inner city suburbs like Brunswick and Richmond which are already cool for an easy nite out but now, with comedy acts on top!
In fact, I was at a FREE comedy night in Richmond last week. They staged 6 comedy acts per nite and as it was being hosted at a pub, there was pub grub and booze available at very pub (reasonable) prices.
And you know another thing.. it was miserable and raining all day Monday and into the nite. That was a good nite for keeping warm in flanny PJs on the couch. But, being Melbourne, the next day was sunny, surprisingly warm and the balmy climate extended into the late evening meaning it was perfectly suited to be out and about, catching a few laughs and having a few drinks.
Oh Melbourne, is there nothing you can't do!
In addition, the worlds funniest people descend on the CBD for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival!
If you haven't already been, there are SO many acts, there's something for everyone! It's worth remembering the big name acts come with a bigger ticket price. But why not check out the Aussie acts, just as funny but they make for a cheap nite out! And you can see more acts for your money!
The Athaneum offer $5 comedy nites with 4-5 decently hilarious comedians strutting their stuff on stage. Best part is, you can have dinner and/or a few drinks while watching the acts because the stage is in a big ol' bar with Hogwarts style tables running in rows across the room.
Don't forget the little venues out of the CBD in those funky inner city suburbs like Brunswick and Richmond which are already cool for an easy nite out but now, with comedy acts on top!
In fact, I was at a FREE comedy night in Richmond last week. They staged 6 comedy acts per nite and as it was being hosted at a pub, there was pub grub and booze available at very pub (reasonable) prices.
And you know another thing.. it was miserable and raining all day Monday and into the nite. That was a good nite for keeping warm in flanny PJs on the couch. But, being Melbourne, the next day was sunny, surprisingly warm and the balmy climate extended into the late evening meaning it was perfectly suited to be out and about, catching a few laughs and having a few drinks.
Oh Melbourne, is there nothing you can't do!
Monday 15 April 2013
Palm Oil? No!
This blog entry contains graphic images. Please consider before viewing.
I know it's depressing but I have to speak up about this. I really love animals. And children. And the occasional elderly person. They all have value, are inspiring and amazing living being and are vulnerable.
Being the Cancerian gal that I am, I have a tendency toward taking things under my wing - usually the down and out, downtrodden underdogs of society. I'm not even just talking about individuals. My chosen football team are perpetually trying to win and I do tend to support the awkward, dorky and perserverant, the ones you want to give a 'Good Try' sticker!
But jokes aside, this whole palm oil thing just has to stop.
I see photos of orang-utans and they break my heart. They don't even have to be living in the forests of Borneo. But to know that their gentle souls and very existence is being threatened by nothing more than greed absolutely sickens me!!
The images here are graphic and unpleasant but they tell the wider world the truth of just how cheap palm oil is. How a population can call itself human and allow this to happen is disgusting. I'm not even exaggerating when I say I'm embarrassed to be categorised in the same species as the people who have done this to defenceless peaceful beings. And it outrages me that it continues to happen, like there is nothing we can do to stop it.
So how do we stop it? Deforestation of palm trees has been occurring for longer than I'd like to admit, before the cameras of the world shined a lens on their inhumane and murderous work. And still, the governments that govern these countries do nothing to prevent these obscene murders from occurring. Legislation can skim through parliaments quickly when there's money greasing those notes. Sadly for the orang-utans, the grease is on the wrong money.
Personally, I'm voting with my feet. Today's grocery shop was the first time I went into a market informed on how to identify palm oil or potential palm oil in products. And you need to inform yourself because producers are a sneaky bunch and seem reluctant to state when they do use palm oil.
Be especially astute with regard to products containing vegetable oil. If the label states vegetable oil and then goes on to state the amount of saturated fat you can count on that vegetable oil being either palm kernel oil, palm oil or coconut oil. This is a way of potentially identifying if a product has palm oil in it as other vegetable oils are not saturated.
And I have to say, if you shop this way, not only is it good for the orang-utans for the world to demand less product containing their only food source. But it is also good because much of my purchases today were fresh produce with hardly anything fatty or unhealthy! No more chocolate or Doritos for me.
According to the WWF:
"If your shopping basket includes packaged products like bread, biscuits, chocolate, chips, sandwich spreads, instant noodles, shower cream and shampoo, then it’s likely you are buying palm oil.
Palm oil and its derivatives are present in half of all packaged foods on our shelves. This is because it is stable at room temperature and has a longer shelf life than butter or other vegetable oils.
Palm oil is used as a shortening to make biscuits and breads. It is also used for deep fat frying. Palm oil derivatives can be used in cosmetics because they make products like shampoo creamier."
Some manufacturers have started using palm oil for sustainable sources which are better for the environment in terms of deforestation, greenhouse gas emission and habitat destruction. You can find out more information about these companies and their work at:
Cosmetics absolutely MUST state if they are using palm oil, so if you find Elaeis oleifera or Elaeis guineensis amongst the ingredients, you may like to reconsider where you're putting your money.
More information:
http://www.palmoilaction.org.au/shopping-guide.html
http://www.orangutan.org.au/index.htm
http://www.wwf.org.au/our_work/saving_the_natural_world/forests/palm_oil/
I know it's depressing but I have to speak up about this. I really love animals. And children. And the occasional elderly person. They all have value, are inspiring and amazing living being and are vulnerable.
Being the Cancerian gal that I am, I have a tendency toward taking things under my wing - usually the down and out, downtrodden underdogs of society. I'm not even just talking about individuals. My chosen football team are perpetually trying to win and I do tend to support the awkward, dorky and perserverant, the ones you want to give a 'Good Try' sticker!
But jokes aside, this whole palm oil thing just has to stop.
I see photos of orang-utans and they break my heart. They don't even have to be living in the forests of Borneo. But to know that their gentle souls and very existence is being threatened by nothing more than greed absolutely sickens me!!
The images here are graphic and unpleasant but they tell the wider world the truth of just how cheap palm oil is. How a population can call itself human and allow this to happen is disgusting. I'm not even exaggerating when I say I'm embarrassed to be categorised in the same species as the people who have done this to defenceless peaceful beings. And it outrages me that it continues to happen, like there is nothing we can do to stop it.
 |
| orang-utan buried during deforestation clearing |
 |
| orang-utan badly beaten by villagers for eating precious$$$ palm seeds - note his arms over his head, attempting to protect himself |
If we treated our pets this badly, we'd be up on criminal charges. And yet, these living beings can suffer horribly and the perpetrators get away with it. No doubt because the perpetrators have money and money equals power. And that is the abject stupidity of it. When all is said and done, these peaceful beings were murdered for money, nothing more, nothing less.
So how do we stop it? Deforestation of palm trees has been occurring for longer than I'd like to admit, before the cameras of the world shined a lens on their inhumane and murderous work. And still, the governments that govern these countries do nothing to prevent these obscene murders from occurring. Legislation can skim through parliaments quickly when there's money greasing those notes. Sadly for the orang-utans, the grease is on the wrong money.
Personally, I'm voting with my feet. Today's grocery shop was the first time I went into a market informed on how to identify palm oil or potential palm oil in products. And you need to inform yourself because producers are a sneaky bunch and seem reluctant to state when they do use palm oil.
Be especially astute with regard to products containing vegetable oil. If the label states vegetable oil and then goes on to state the amount of saturated fat you can count on that vegetable oil being either palm kernel oil, palm oil or coconut oil. This is a way of potentially identifying if a product has palm oil in it as other vegetable oils are not saturated.
And I have to say, if you shop this way, not only is it good for the orang-utans for the world to demand less product containing their only food source. But it is also good because much of my purchases today were fresh produce with hardly anything fatty or unhealthy! No more chocolate or Doritos for me.
According to the WWF:
"If your shopping basket includes packaged products like bread, biscuits, chocolate, chips, sandwich spreads, instant noodles, shower cream and shampoo, then it’s likely you are buying palm oil.
Palm oil and its derivatives are present in half of all packaged foods on our shelves. This is because it is stable at room temperature and has a longer shelf life than butter or other vegetable oils.
Palm oil is used as a shortening to make biscuits and breads. It is also used for deep fat frying. Palm oil derivatives can be used in cosmetics because they make products like shampoo creamier."
Some manufacturers have started using palm oil for sustainable sources which are better for the environment in terms of deforestation, greenhouse gas emission and habitat destruction. You can find out more information about these companies and their work at:
Cosmetics absolutely MUST state if they are using palm oil, so if you find Elaeis oleifera or Elaeis guineensis amongst the ingredients, you may like to reconsider where you're putting your money.
More information:
http://www.palmoilaction.org.au/shopping-guide.html
http://www.orangutan.org.au/index.htm
http://www.wwf.org.au/our_work/saving_the_natural_world/forests/palm_oil/
The Overview Effect
So I'd found a new website called Listverse. Okay, it's probably not a new site per se, but it was new to me! And joy of joys, it's completely categorised everything into list form! How awesome is that!?
Some of the lists are a tad inane - Top 10 Pregnant Celebrities - I mean, everyone knows Kim Kardashian is big enough to fill the entire top 10. And before you think I meant physically, I mean EGO people! She has the biggest unjustifiably enormous ego for reasons I still cannot fathom.
Almost as big as her pregnant Orca girth!! Aaaaaah hahahaha..
Almost as big as her pregnant Orca girth!! Aaaaaah hahahaha..
Meow!! Hiss!
(Or should that have been a whale song?)
So anyways.. some of the lists are a little cerebral hors d'vours, feeding the mind with something a little delicious and tantalising amongst the candy-filled junk!
Lists like:
- 10 Insane Cases of Genetic Engineering (glow in the dark cats anybody?)
- Tips for Surviving a Bear Encounter (not a huge necessity in Melbourne CBD.. but I digress)
- 10 Reasons the War on Drugs is Killing You (not sure, yet to see the list, but I am intruigued!)
- 10 Sensory Marketing Tricks Companies Use on You (grr companies! you clever bastards!)
Then 10 More Fascinating Scientific and Psychological Effects. Amongst the Allee Effect; the Bruce Effect and the Leidenfrost Effect, there was the Overview Effect. I don't know why, somehow I just found it the most fascinating and inspiring effect of all!
The website stated that the Overview Effect has to be the least common psychological effect as only 534 people have ever experienced the conditions that lead to it. Discouraging huh!
The Overview Effect happens when astronauts in orbit or on the surface of the moon first see the Earth in its entirety. Amazing!!
Many report feeling a deep sense of scale and perspective and this is what is called the Overview Effect. The effect can be deeply moving, confusing, inspiring, and emotionally challenging, as a view of the entire Earth changes one’s perspective in a profound way. Astronauts have returned home with a renewed sense of the way we’re all connected, of the relative meaninglessness of cultural boundaries, and a desire to take care of the Earth’s environment.
Strangely, these are the same feelings related by people who experience Near Death Experiences. I guess the sense of something bigger, the feeling of our own insignificance, does something to the way we see ourselves or our world, in time and space. It creates a new perspective on life; it seems to lead to a renewed lifestyle; a different approach to life and a reprioritisation as to what is important.
Which is why I hope that I get to experience the Overview Effect before I die. And I think it would only be a good thing for all our world leaders, at the very least, have the opportunity to get out there and experience the same thing.
Can you imagine how different our world would be if our leaders actually cared about our sweet fragile earth!? I'm going to write Richard Branson right now. He's just avant garde enough to understand what I'm on about. He's also funding a space ship.
What do you think? Too crazy? Check it out for yourself:
http://listverse.com/2013/04/14/10-more-fascinating-scientific-and-psychological-effects/
The website stated that the Overview Effect has to be the least common psychological effect as only 534 people have ever experienced the conditions that lead to it. Discouraging huh!
Many report feeling a deep sense of scale and perspective and this is what is called the Overview Effect. The effect can be deeply moving, confusing, inspiring, and emotionally challenging, as a view of the entire Earth changes one’s perspective in a profound way. Astronauts have returned home with a renewed sense of the way we’re all connected, of the relative meaninglessness of cultural boundaries, and a desire to take care of the Earth’s environment.
Strangely, these are the same feelings related by people who experience Near Death Experiences. I guess the sense of something bigger, the feeling of our own insignificance, does something to the way we see ourselves or our world, in time and space. It creates a new perspective on life; it seems to lead to a renewed lifestyle; a different approach to life and a reprioritisation as to what is important.
Which is why I hope that I get to experience the Overview Effect before I die. And I think it would only be a good thing for all our world leaders, at the very least, have the opportunity to get out there and experience the same thing.
Can you imagine how different our world would be if our leaders actually cared about our sweet fragile earth!? I'm going to write Richard Branson right now. He's just avant garde enough to understand what I'm on about. He's also funding a space ship.
What do you think? Too crazy? Check it out for yourself:
http://listverse.com/2013/04/14/10-more-fascinating-scientific-and-psychological-effects/
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